Story of My Life

Today was just he’ll honestly I can’t seem to get anything straight. Ruined shit with Sam and he probably thinks I’m a freak a friend is suggesting something will happen with us and he’s always saying hey beautiful or miss you and then levels me with a love you sis bye, wtf!!!! Ari and Ashley god they just need to suck it up and deal with each other if they love each other they will make it through this mess. I suck being single and Aidan won’t talk to me it is like he is just messing with me . He told me he’s angry because I’m leaving and I told him we need to hang out more and I’ve made the effort but he won’t and it angers me because I feel like I’m trying he hardest and everyone else is just blowin me off. I’m so tired of trying to live

haha funny jokes at school turn so sexual so quicckly. and yet I can’t help but giggle like a girl on crack. O.O eating candy corn and someone tells me “They remind me of penises.” Great. haha let us se…. went shoping for lots of random shit it was fun :D i get to wear a prty hat tomorrw biought Aidan a gift hope he loves it :D and homework… NOT DONE :D ace for me ha hmmm i really want gifts… but i know that is unlikely… i was hoping for one… from … people… but after some events we no longer talk… and ehh complex but anyways! everyone seems to be breaking up for the holidays.. is it easier to be single during break? im confused. oh well i love all my friends anyways they always make me happy :D or they try Free food tomorrow!! i cant wait!!! haha my friend Rico is leaving on the third. :( i want to cry… lets hope the world gets saved by Swedish House Mafia dogs before the 21st!! jk dont believe the world will end but i cant wait to see what happens. :D

I wish I had the guts to tell you everything that is breaking me inside. I wish I could tell you how much I care about you, but it’s like you don’t even see me! What more can I do? I have already ran in front of a bus to save you and yet you still have yet to see me for what I can be and for the good I can give you. I want to be your everything.  

“I act like shit, don’t face me. Inside it drives me crazy, my insecurities could eat me alive

Ahahah weird right? Well it’s true. I have heard the saying that “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” Well i hated that and wouldn’t believe it because I was so “inlove” with Ari, and I just wasn’t ahppy and it all sucked! Butthen I started hanging out with this guy Trevin and he was so quiet and hard to talk to, but I enjoyed being around him because I got to be annoying and loud and he would laugh and smile and encourage me to go on. He wanted me to be myself around him and maybe one day hell open up to me. i keep secrets but their not terrible andthey come in time. im so happy to take this relationship slow and I’m glad Trevin is shy because it means I have to be careful. If you run. the egg is bound to fall off the spoon. but if you walk carefully. it will have a better chance of survival. funny simile but ill take it my life has been a life of egg shels and now i can dance around because its dark and no body can see me and there arent things that will break.

Let me just start with. IM SO  FREKAING LOST~~~ lol no joke. but im hoping to see a friend of mine. i love him to DEATH!!!! lol and idk.. i love ppl here because their majorly inspirring but its sad that… u no….. people dont always read me

Ever feel like you were in a movie? and it was your life and you played the part perfectly! but now that it’s over your extremely relieved and tired. Well i just ended my emotions with ARi. Not that you really care but I’m happy that i finally know that letting go is soooo much easier than fighting to hold on. I’m happy and honestly.. it feel fucking great!

Anonymous asked: I love your blog, it's beautiful. :)

thank you!!!